Revisited

Well this is probably the first time I'm doing this in camp. I just thought I should drop by I don't know why.

Uneventful weekend duty breeds boredom. Lately I've only been writing in the weekends. It's not like I don't have the time to do it on a weekday - it's probably just me being lazy with a hint of dampened enthusiasm. Whatever it is, I certainly hope it's temporary.

This week has been generally... different. Haha my normal week doesn't comprise of 2 duties and one leave. This week is different. Special different. Somehow my leave always ends up being strategically planned, without the initial intention to, or any inkling of the surprising benefits that it brings. Is this some sort of sorcery? 'Cos if it was, I'm good. Ha!

Just 2 days ago on Thursday, I took a day off to book for biking with zhai, which, after that, realised that there was no real need to... Oh well. As I was mentioning, my leave day was also, coincidentally, the first day of the Comex / IT show. I swear, I didn't plan it that way. But yea, bonus! So I headed down to Suntec with zhai. Well I had the intention to get a laptop, but zhai was there probably just to... I don't know... get a printer? Haha! Well I did scout a few I wanted to get, but then I was convinced by cheongyew that getting one closer to my Uni days would probably be a wiser choice.

And on this fateful day, I am reminded again the role of myself in friendships. For too long I have been the supporting role, trying so hard, leaving myself to fate while actively manipulating that of others. It brought me 4 years back - so vivid, and a little painful in fact. Ready or not, I'll never know; because to be honest, I've never really tried after that. I would be lying to myself if I said I did. It's not easy but I'll try. I don't know what got into me that day, but zhai you're one lucky guy because I probably wasn't in a sound mind to do that sort of thing for you... Well I thought so.

Maybe I'm slowly letting you become a part of memory, a part less controlling and manipulative.