Stats

Yesterday, I walked into Stats class with a heavy heart. Clearly this was the most dreaded subject we had to complete this semester, because it was mathematically intensive. I don't know why I had a preconceived notion about my teacher (perhaps it was a derivative of the many slanderous rumours), but I didn't think much of him. He is a Chinese, has a strong accent, but fortunately discernible. As soon as we settled down, he kicked off the tutorial with the question "Why do you come to a uni to study?"

And then he challenged the class with this equation:

cos(α+β) = ?

He opened to the floor his challenge, and was pretty confident none of us knew the answer to it. And he was right.

The point he tried to make was that many of us, after so many years of education, still cannot deny that these years were spent on cramming information in our heads and imprinting them on a piece of foolscap - all for that few hours that we thought our lives were determined by. Amongst this wisdom, he further surprised me with so many personal philosophies which I come to ardently admire. He opines that the process of thought and the exercise of the brain is core to learning. The application of logic to derive at answers is not only relevant in academics, but also everything else in life. Without a logical thought process, our world would merely be an unsolved puzzle with the pieces strewn around, unconnected and without meaning. He also points out that anything technical or quantitative in nature can essentially be completed by a computer, and hence only a fool would think to compete with it; similarly, only a fool would hire someone to do what a computer can perform at greater precision and speed.

Often I think about how I would have done things differently. More radically, I have recently harboured the thought of changing my course of study. I know it to be insane, but I did admit that I want crazy, so it doesn't really shock me that much.

It feels almost painful to think about.

Mandatory New Year Post

I might have gone slightly too far past my dilatory habits this time round but... late is better than never? So here's the mandatory New Year post I owe myself.

Let me first explain myself. I was actually prepared to write this post on New Year's day. I really did. But it was unfortunate that my clumsiness with water resulted in a malfunctioning keyboard that did not allow me to. Nevertheless I admit that this is late so I am making up for it now.

It is now 20 days into the new year, and I can say that nothing much has happened in these 3 weeks that is deserving of a mention, except that I went to Bangkok for a short getaway in the first week. I don't know why, and I wouldn't call it a disappointment entirely, but I thought my trip was far from my expectations. It wasn't about the people or the place itself, so I guess the only reason would be company. Perhaps we have all changed, and I cannot hope to hold on to something so long ago or try to bring that back. It has opened my eyes though; not only about you but also about myself. It made me realise that, just maybe, we don't need certain people in our lives any more, but the letting go process is never easy. Cutting people loose was never my thing, but if I allow anchors to hold me down, then someday I will suffocate and drown, and I'd think back and say it's too late. I don't know how this will go, but for now, I don't want to think too much about it. Painful as it is, I think I'm done.

Looking back at 2013, there really weren't spectacular moments. Then again, nothing else in my 21 years of life had been particularly spectacular either. I'm a boring person, as many can tell. I found my passion and dream late last year, which I think I've already covered, so I'm pleased to say that wraps up 2013 for me. Unlike my first post, I am not going to do resolutions any more. I've learned that motivation for goals are never about how many items you have on your list, how achievable these items are, or the fact that you have a list (and thus keeping in check its progress). Those are goals. To achieve these goals we need motivation, and that's what is important. A goal will always remain a goal if no motivation exists to see it through. We find motivation from everyday events, people around us, and our passions. Trust me when I say they are hard to come by, but when you find them everything else will fall into place and you will lose yourself in self-discovery.