To all Guardians

I might have just re-watched Rise of the Guardians, because it's freaking awesome.

Every time I finish watching an animated film (not anime, I'm sorry) I always feel that there's something magical about it. Maybe it's the surreality of it, the perfectly crafted characters that will never exist, or the cheesy but wonderful good versus evil story line. I can't really capture what it is exactly, but I know it warms my heart every time. I felt the same after watching Despicable Me, Tangled, Kung Fu Panda, Megamind, Finding Nemo - just to name a few. The films amalgamate fun and laughter with a valuable lesson, and the result is simply, for a lack of word, out of this world.

It sets me thinking about how it would have impacted people all around the world. Globally, people would be captivated by the same magical feeling that makes us cherish something dearer, feel better about ourselves, and ponder about the things that make us happy. I just love that.

I started this blog wanting to discover a superpower I never had, probably never will have, and definitely hidden for life if it did exist. But I choose to believe that it exists, and the day when I witness this superpower will come. I choose to believe in something people would call impossible or remotely achievable. I choose to let my belief go on forever, rather than douse it out.

Perhaps it is how the film resonates with my previous post about how we are desperate for a purpose, where Jack Frost succinctly portrays how our deepest fear and greatest insecurity is to never feel appreciated or believed in. How can we be loved, if we cannot even be seen? For the times we try too hard to gain attention, the moments we sit thinking about what we are doing wrongly, or the instances when we can't seem to please that someone we care so much about, there have been sadness and despair. We reflect about ourselves all the time. We hear jokes that strangers tell, and we secretly laugh in amusement. We see happy, beautiful couples, and we wonder when our time will come. We see cool and popular people and think about how we should change ourselves so that we can be like them - adored and attractive. If you ever had these feelings, you, too, have been in a place where you didn't fit before. You felt lonely and purposeless, like a drifting log in the sea. There was just no one to talk to, or no one that could relate to you, just like Jack.

But it is precisely these feelings that made me stronger, and they will make you too. No one said you have to be popular. Someone did, however, say you need to be happy, and that someone is me. Life was never a competition to see who had most friends, and it certainly is not a race to see who can last longer. The aim is to live like everyday was worth it. And even if there are shitty days - which there are bound to be - we need to know that the reason why we find a day dreadful is simply because we have had better, and will have better. You keep telling yourself that, and you might never see a bad day again.

Talking to the Moon

"Is there something I'm doing wrong? Can you just tell me what it is? Because I've tried, everything, and no one ever sees me! You put me here, the least you can do is tell me... tell me why..."

Perfect

Have you ever loved the night, but not the darkness that consumes it?
Have you ever loved the moon, but not the stars that accompany it?
Have you ever loved a song, but not the lyrics that define it?
Have you ever loved a soul, but not the face that embodies it?

If we ever love something selectively, we never really love it. Love encompasses all the perfections and imperfections, big or small. Look past the flaws and find your greater love, and you'll find that your love is always perfect enough for everything.

Give Me Love

I know it’s hard to admit, but everything we do, we do for somebody.

There is always this innate desire yearning for approval, for consensus, and for support. It’s as if everything we do, we want someone to notice. Think about how we used to clamour for love when we were young, then how we wanted to get good grades in school just to impress our parents, how we want to get a wonderful job to boast to our friends, or less antagonistically, prove to them that we can be successful in life if we wanted to. The truth is, if nobody notices our labour, efforts and success, it doesn’t really matter that much anymore.

I’m sure it’s hard to come to terms with that, but it’s true. What is our purpose? Why do we do what we do? For ourselves? What if the whole world disapproved? What if no one supported you? It’s easy to say we live for our own, but a quick reality check will reveal that it is simply a model of idealism. We are trapped in a quagmire of eternal judgement; everything we do becomes an impression to others. Just like a YouTube video, while acknowledging that we can never please everyone, we want to be more liked than disliked. Then we ask, who is to say we are right or wrong? We can say that all we want, but we can’t deny the fact that deep down we want approval. Someone to tell us we are doing it right, someone to tell us they agree with us, someone to tell us what we’re doing is good. It’s a natural instinct that can be best curbed through confidence but never really eliminated. All the times we were told “No, you are wrong” were particularly dejecting, and it may have hurt us deeper than we thought. Then again, it is precisely these setbacks that motivate and encourage us to learn what others have to offer.

We are people who want to be cared for. That is why it is especially hurtful for someone whom we would expect support from to withhold it from us. The whole world could disapprove of our actions and choices, but when it’s our family, friends and people we care for, it’s as if the world just crumbles into a pile of nothingness.

Dark Side

There are tons of people out there who write. It could be any form of writing, or simply a sparkle of literary expression, but the reason why we write is to pen down (not literally anymore) what little fragments of magical words our mind conjures up at the oddest of hours.

I've seen those articles on thoughtcatalog, and realise how some of them are really just gibberish. And then again, there are some writers who perpetually churn out articles after articles that many people can relate to, to hit a common note and understanding, to share the same experience with, and to say "Hey, I did feel that way at some point in my life too". How does chelsea fagan manage to create so many articles that connect with so many people, and somehow succinctly capture their emotions and feelings into those words? It could be about letting someone go, healing from a heartbreak, re-encountering an old friend, losing people, finding love, living the life you want, or feeling hurt because someone did something to you, and vice versa. All these, in one way or another, could resonate with the life experiences of many. And sometimes we need someone like chelsea, someone to put our feelings and thoughts into words we couldn't possibly find ourselves producing.

I guess we are all the same. No matter how sentient a machine is, it can never replace how sensual beings like humans feel. Deep down we all have that soft side, that melancholic nature that can be suppressed with happiness in our lives, but never really detached from our souls. We don't really explore that side of ourselves that much, for doing so would inadvertently attract comments like "emo", "sad life", and "gay". But few of us understand that in this world, there are just some people who feel more than others - people who are more in touch with their intrinsic sensuality and people who do not fear exhibiting this side of themselves which is bold, colourful, and passionate. Instead, it is often misunderstood as a dark and depressing facet of the soul.

In all our efforts to be the nonchalant one, we often forget to get in touch with this part of ourselves. While being perennially depressed or pessimistic is debilitating, shutting ourselves from this vulnerability is not beneficial for the soul as well.

Always take some time to feel, before we forget how to.

Fortunately

How often do you count your blessings?

Everyday I look at what I'm doing, and question myself why I'm doing it. I'm sure if we all had a choice, we wouldn't be working. We would be travelling the world, making new friends everyday, trying new stuff every week, finding new adventures at every destination, make merry with every opportunity, and live life like we really love it. But we know that's not for everybody. We know that it isn't sustainable, not for our entire life.

I believe that learning to accept that mentality is the first step towards a more fulfilling life. Take a look at where you are now, and ask yourself: Am I fortunate? If the answer is yes, keep up the good work, because obviously you are doing something right. If your answer is no, then I feel that you need to rethink the things you actually want, and why it hasn't come to you yet.

Admitting that you are fortunate is itself a sign of contentment, and a quiet, reserved kind of gratitude is felt in your heart. We learn that everything in this world is to be earned, and that only through these experiences do we find the things we own much more appreciated. Because if we didn't work for it, we don't deserve it. If we can think about this everyday and forget about comparing ourselves to others whom we see as more fortunate, then we can be happy.