There is always this innate desire yearning for approval,
for consensus, and for support. It’s as if everything we do, we want someone to
notice. Think about how we used to clamour for love when we were young, then
how we wanted to get good grades in school just to impress our parents, how we
want to get a wonderful job to boast to our friends, or less antagonistically,
prove to them that we can be successful in life if we wanted to. The truth is,
if nobody notices our labour, efforts and success, it doesn’t really matter that
much anymore.
I’m sure it’s hard to come to terms with that, but it’s
true. What is our purpose? Why do we do what we do? For ourselves? What if the
whole world disapproved? What if no one supported you? It’s easy to say we live
for our own, but a quick reality check will reveal that it is simply a model of
idealism. We are trapped in a quagmire of eternal judgement; everything we do
becomes an impression to others. Just like a YouTube video, while acknowledging
that we can never please everyone, we want to be more liked than disliked. Then
we ask, who is to say we are right or wrong? We can say that all we want, but
we can’t deny the fact that deep down we want approval. Someone to tell us we
are doing it right, someone to tell us they agree with us, someone to tell us
what we’re doing is good. It’s a natural instinct that can be best curbed
through confidence but never really eliminated. All the times we were told “No,
you are wrong” were particularly dejecting, and it may have hurt us deeper than
we thought. Then again, it is precisely these setbacks that motivate and encourage
us to learn what others have to offer.
We are people who want to be cared for. That is why it is
especially hurtful for someone whom we would expect support from to withhold it
from us. The whole world could disapprove of our actions and choices, but when
it’s our family, friends and people we care for, it’s as if the world just
crumbles into a pile of nothingness.
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