Chill out

10, 20 years down the road I wonder if these ambiguous posts I write here will make any sense to me.

I'm doing this in camp again. I wonder why. Maybe boredom has kicked in, or maybe just because I'm feeling a little lonesome. Whatever it is, I favour this idea pretty much.

Today is the day I clear my long due sleep debts. I had a whopping 11 hours of rest for the night, and another 2 hours in the afternoon to make it a full-blown recovery. I never thought of it this way, but I'm starting to think sleep is the best thing to do if you're trying to pass time. And also watching movies. I had the luxury of time (and brain capacity) to watch 2 movies today - The Vow and New Year's Eve. Both movies are the sort that warms your heart, but I would say, none of them will leave an impact for long. But I thought generally, these 2 movies did well in entertaining me for the day, so I won't complain.

It's somehow intriguing how some people are really just passers-by in our lives. Right now, I'm still trying to figure out who are permanent, and who are temporary. I mean, will I hang out with anyone I knew from Army after I leave the organisation? Maybe, or maybe not. How well do I know them? I don't even have to ask myself that question twice to confirm my answer, so I guess it's all very clear to me - how I feel about them, how I think this is all gonna end and stuff. Well, this is part of life, isn't it? Saying goodbye to people whom were just there at the same place, at the same time with you; a common belonging that will last as long as what keeps us together lasts. In this case it's NS. So I guess, when it all ends for me, ALMOST all my "friendships" forged here will end too. I said almost. Just like the movies - entertaining, but not long-lasting. And when that happens, we just gotta be happy, at least, that they have made a certain stage of our lives a little more happening that it would have been without them. That is enough.

I have not been very obedient these few weeks. By that I mean I'm actually rejecting a whole lot of "in-my-head" messages to myself. Like when I tell myself not to sleep so late, I don't do it. I tell myself to go run in the morning, but I don't do it. I tell myself not to think about you, but I don't keep to that. I know how this is all supposed to be a matter of mental strength and resilience blah blah; I'm just weak, okay? I think it's time I start honouring my promises. But first, I need some motivation.

This is going to be a very blissful weekend, I foresee.