Laser

As I stared out into town, littered with majestic skyscrapers, I saw many offices still lit on a Sunday night.

I know I'm not in any position to give much of an opinion about working our asses off instead of doing what we truly want to do, because I'm guilty of it. I've never been afraid to admit that I chose this course because it was a 3-year programme, and that I wanted to get over and done with studies as soon as possible to start working. We may all hold different ideals on what our life at this stage should play out to be; some want to enjoy the last mile of student life, absorbing the full vitality of youth embedded in uni life, some want to start conducting their own business, get some experience and hopefully earn some income, while others want to use this time of adolescence to discover themselves and transit into mature adults. Most people, at this point in their life, probably already have their goals and dreams figured out. It's sad to say I haven't.

I read on an article that one trait of successful people is their laser-beam focus on their goals. Some may call it obsession, but I'd like to call it dedication. In our society, the inability to multi-task is generally unfavourable. Scholarships require you to have stellar academic and co-curricular achievements at the same time. Jobs demand the handling of multiple accounts at any one time. Family, friends and lover all want a piece of you. It seems that a diverse array of commitment has become the expectation of us in the modern world, and fixating on something with laser-like focus rarely seems to be as highly regarded as before. I did observe, though, that more than often, to be good at anything does require an unwavering commitment to it. How then, are we to conform to societal demands and stay focused at the same time?

It's approximately a week away from finals, and I can see everyone upping the ante of dedication. I start my days at 7 a.m., and end at around 2 a.m., stretching it as much as I can. I do ask myself what we're all doing this for, but I always arrive at the conclusion that we have no other choice. Uni life is honestly overrated. I don't think everyone agrees, but I don't intend to listen to the arguments to the contrary. It's sad how I haven't really connected to anyone in school yet; a real, genuine sort of affiliation that I can expect to carry on for years to come. It almost feels like I have let strangers walk in and out of my life without much regard. Perhaps I haven't been putting myself out on the line as I should have, or that I'm too boring for anyone to want to consider any sort of affiliation.

I've never felt so lethargic before. In times like this I need more strength than I can surmount, more support than I can offer, and more affection than I deserve. I'm not sure if I can take this, but if I do survive, I know I've grown stronger.

I'll push through it.

But I don't really have a choice, do I?