Dinner

I went out with my family for dinner tonight, and I don't want to feel this way, but dinners with the family have been utterly dreadful.

We just sat there, my Dad and Mum famished, my sisters so engrossed with their smartphones that I wonder if they feel hungry as well. And I just stared. I took it all in; this sight before me, and what it used to be. There I was with so many thoughts in my mind, but so silent and inexpressive on the outside. I don't know why, but I couldn't do more than just stare.

Maybe I have brought this upon myself. Maybe I have distant myself too far for me to return. Or maybe I just didn't want to return. A part of me feels slightly guilty for this silence, but something else in me also resonates that I don't want to be part of this anymore.

I hate to admit this, but I miss the times when I still could have a conversation with them, and I wish I was less antagonistic; to have a conversation without feeling half-irritated and half-impatient. But I know it's not possible anymore. Things have changed so much in these few years.