Happy New Year 2013

First day of the year, and I'm looking back at 2012 with nothing more than a bittersweet nostalgia.

I am disgusted at how uneventful this new year's day has been. It pains me that I have absolutely nothing worth celebrating on this day. I'm back to square one. New year resolutions that don't happen.

It hasn't exactly been an exciting year for me. I feel like the year was torturous, that I wanted to get by it so quickly so that I could move on to something else. I didn't accomplish anything huge. I mean, I failed my driving test twice. I am still undecided on where to go for uni. I made myself an asshole at work so I could get things done. I'm on some serious medication. I try desperately to insert some drama into my life but my failure at this is epic.

I know I ought to be happy, because the last thing I want is to be selfish and bring the spirits of all the people around me down. It's unfair, and it's not their problem that I'm an epic fail. And perhaps the only thing worth being happy about is being able to keep up this writing for an entire year. Reflections, insights, and growth. I have changed so much. I'm sure a fundamental part of me remains the same but I have definitely changed. For the better or worse I'll let the people around me decide.

When people tell you that happiness is all that matters in life, you gotta trust them. But don't assume it's gonna come naturally. You have to ask yourself, and answer truthfully, what genuinely makes you happy. And I will not lie to you, that although it may not be "money", this thing you want, somehow revolves around it. Don't let it stop you. Always remember that the best things in life come free to us.