I think I'm suited for the life of a roamer. To be honest, I'm mostly alone. I try to think of it as being too much of an introvert, but then again, I could really be depressed.
I kid people by telling them I'm on anti-depressant when they catch me popping my meds. I won't tell you exactly what it is, because it seemed pretty credible (go figure) when I say that those were my chill pills.
It's great knowing you won't be missed when you're gone. For most people, you don't even have to be narcissistic to want to be recognised and acknowledged for your effort and dedication. But I don't. I just want to be the wallpaper that fades into the background. Because prominence here grants you nothing you wish for. I've never liked attention from the people that, crudely, don't really matter in my life. Just so you know.
Looking through my posts, I realised there were not many of them that spoke of happy things. In fact, I think none of them conveyed a happy feeling. LOL. But it can't be my fault; when I'm not happy I don't want to pretend that I am. Like, what is the point, really? Just so people around you can feel your happiness and be influenced as well? Just so people don't think you're "emo"? Just so you want to lie to the people around you, and even yourself?
September is probably going to be the wildest month yet, with a flurry of ridiculousness and whimsical and chaos and judgements and tests and nerves and projects and plans and imparting of knowledge and rigging and... I wanna do so many illegal things I think I'm twisted. Make a promise, and keep it. I can actually feel September ending soon even though this week has been incredibly long and painful. Everything is crammed up in September and when I'm done with them it's probably already October. Oh the joy.
Come on... I know your hands can move faster, you stupid clock. And you too; you could flip faster, you lousy calendar. Let's get this over and done with! Hmm... better be careful with what I wish for :O
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