Sometimes certain things in life seem to just go way out-of-course and berserk, and everything seems to be going the wrong way. Well, it seems; because sometimes these things happen in such a magical way that only you have the special ability to see it in that particular manner. You think: "Shit, this isn't going right!". Oh, but it is; it's playing tricks with your mind. Now close your eyes and tell yourself this.
Congratulations, you have successfully convinced yourself that this is indeed a wonderful day instead of one that would have otherwise been described as "fucked-up".
I'm kidding.
For the second time, this happened to me. In a miraculous twist of events, things that were in my favour just unfortunately spun out of my control to a state so devastating and heart-wrenching. Why then, do I not feel like the world has given me one tight slap across my face? Because I don't want to. I don't want to think like this. I can't really stop myself from thinking like this but I'm trying very very hard. I am, believe me. It's tough to know all that was supposed to be well is suddenly crumbling down on you with no preamble or warning, like an avalanche swept into motion by the sheer gust of wind. And I'm gonna stop right now because if I go any further than this I can't promise myself that I won't start crying out loud.
I screwed up my own plans. It's only right that others don't have to suffer with me. And to be honest, my presence wouldn't have made a difference. That's what happens when square pegs are jammed into round holes.
I am an idiot.
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