Fighter

This is a lonely Friday night spent doing duty / work in the office, with nobody to disturb me or tell me that I'm crazy. Yes, you may imagine the sad and emo song playing in the background, while I'm sitting here typing away. Alone.

If you ask me, I'm actually not afraid to admit that I like my job. After all, if this is mandatory, I don't want to spend the time hating the things I do, or feel cheated into this entire episode. I mentioned to harvard that even though I shouldn't be liking what I'm doing, I take pride in what I do, that hating my job is just not my style.

Scrolling through my mailbox from the end of December last year, I am reminded of so many unhappy moments. Truth be told, I felt extremely depressed at a certain point in time when I was here last December. I remember having to do so many things, and answer for even more, to the extent that I sometimes had to answer for the mistakes of others, or be questioned relentlessly on my own proficiencies. It felt awful, knowing that there were so many gross errors that made me feel so much like a loser. And maybe I was.

I always tell myself: Nobody needs to know how hard you work, or how diligent and efficient you can be. I've done so many things, and none for the sake of credit or glory; because when you truly take pride in the stuff you do, there's nothing else more important that seeing it come to fruition. That is the promise I made to myself.

Everyone should strive to be like my Nokia phone. In this week alone, I've dropped it more than 10 times. Hard. But still, despite all the unintentional abuse, it never seems to falter, or fail me in it's most basic functions. It comes back battered but still fighting; fighting to provide its user what's expected of it. I wish we could all be like that. Even if sometimes when what doesn't kill you doesn't make you stronger, but weaker instead, I hope we can all know that mentally we've all grown stronger and tougher and more resilient than the last time, albeit physical lethargy. I know I've grown. But looking at the mails I went through yesterday, I am also proud to announce that even though some of us are still stuck at square one, a few of us actually made marked improvements to become who we are now - robust and still fighting, never giving in to the things that threaten to daunt us everyday.

I feel like a fighter.

And the day when I leave I will still remember this day. It's not a spectacularly eventful day, or a memorable one for that matter, but it's the day I bore testament to the hard work and effort everyone else have been putting in for the past many months to make this place a better place, and my life an easier one. For that I'm immensely grateful. And I will always be.