Another day, another session. I've been studying pretty intensively these few days now, but I think "intensive" is rather relative because I know there are definitely people out there who are more dedicated in terms of revision. I know now is probably not a good time to do this, but amidst my revision, I still find time to do the things I enjoy. I don't know if this is compromising my grades, but clearly I couldn't care less haha. I'll let my thoughts wander once in a while, and allow my senses to relax for a moment.
It will never be proportionate. The cramming and the results. Throughout the years I've realised how studying really does require techniques. My chat with nicole the other day makes me conclude that the less you try to clog your mind with truckloads of information, the more likely you'll find what you need when you need it. The mind palace, as Benedict Cumberbatch's Sherlock puts it. Having an organised assortment of knowledge in your mind certainly empowers you to selectively extract what is really essential; there is only so much disk space in there so why waste it? We already subconsciously bombard it with useless media everyday that we don't even realise how the retention rate of our minds are slowly being eroded. But interactive media is the new black, so instead of shunning it we should really learn how to manoeuvre through all that gunk and pick out the gems that genuinely improve our minds.
Going back to watch the recorded Stats lectures (because I skipped all my lectures; I know I'm a bad student), I saw how my Stats tutor is relentlessly consistent in his preaching. He would insist that we will never beat the computer, so let's not try to. Learning an analysis methodology is way more beneficial for us, and I'm not gonna argue with that. It does. I learn so much better by seeing the logic behind each formula and each assumption and each consideration. Formulae are after all, condensed logic that have been tried and tested.
In NBS, everything is a competition. Everyone wants an A, but if is it indeed a bell curve, then someone gets the D, isn't it? (see what I did there ;) haha) How many of us actually think getting a lousy grade means we're not as good, and how many of us truly believe it's inadequacy? The whole grading system is a competition, and we're all pitted against each other. There is only one outcome - aggression. People start picking team mates strategically, consulting A+ reports by seniors who have clearly done something right, and guard our GPAs as if they were incriminating national secrets. But really, if you're played out like that, there isn't much choice. Many will say "I don't want to compete if I had a choice; I'd rather we all enjoy this journey", but only a few genuinely walk the talk. We do what we have to; no shame in admitting that and definitely nothing wrong with that. But is it not exhausting to constantly maintain these fragile relationships so mercenary in nature, threaded together by merely mutual benefits? Or has it become so commonplace that we have stopped seeing how grotesque this is? Regardless consciously orchestrated or unconsciously manipulated into, let's cut this pretence. Don't live in denial - tell people how you really see them. How you judge them. Friends, allies, partners, stepping stones.
I know what you're gonna say - "But it's like this everywhere else! Stop being a weakling and suck it up. That's life. That's reality." But that is your reality, not mine. I want to believe that genuine people exist, so don't deny that from me. And my only advice to you is to hold on as hard as you can to these people in your life if you haven't already chased them all away.
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