In times of desperation, maybe this is the only place to rant. Next week is going to be the last week of school for my first year in the new school, but it feels so... empty. It's hard not to doubt yourself in a place like this, and you will try very hard to be more than who you are. Sometimes I feel like I'm trying too hard, or that despite everything that's been said, deep down I'm still as insecure about how things will work out. It's not easy to admit something like that; it's fucking difficult. Support and encouragement mean everything - take that away from a man and he might be left with nothing, even if he had the world.
I see myself in a limbo. Swimming in uncharted waters. The buoy is far away and the sky is dark. In the middle of the great big ocean I see only the distortion of the horizon.
Meaningless.
And then my body starts to sink, but my mind is afloat. Was it possible that they were separate entities after all? My mind is imagining some paradise. It must have been real; it felt so real.
Illusions?
It's stifling. In the water where we are free to roam, some people choose to attach themselves to the floating debris of someone else's vessel. Why have we let these things inhibit us?
Copy is blasphemy.
Originality and mental acuity are so underrated.
Worshipping the dogmatic. Clinging to the lifebuoy. Believing that it will save you when the waves come crashing.
The only way to escape is to swim out of the atmosphere.
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